We Will Continue To Observe
©2024, George J. Irwin. All rights reserved.

During one of our trips away, I used our shared laptop to finish up a few items. Apparently, though, I had not finished up enough items to the satisfaction of the software application which I use. As I was reviewing, there were a rather alarming number of blue underlines and double underlines sprinkled through what I had begun prior to our working vacation. What were they?

Grammar checks.

The last time I had to deal with this quantity of them, it was the previous century and I was sitting in what would commonly be called an English Composition class. Is there such a course offered any more? Anyway, we had a stickler for the language who marked everything, and I mean everything, that was incorrect, in the opinion of the instructor... which was generally what was in the book The Elements of Style, by William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White. You might recognize that second name as the author of Charlotte’s Web, which, I presume, was written using, well, The Elements of Style.

I suppose I could bore you with a countdown of the most annoying “suggestions” and “recommendations” that were built into the software but one particularly sticks in my craw: the word “observe” was underlined with the caption, “A simpler word might make for easier reading.”

That simpler word: “see.”

I’m sorry.

I don’t think so.

What I believe, dear application authors and dumbers-down, is that it would make for a more tedious experience for the reader, were I to accept your recommendation and change “observe” and every other synonym for “see” to “see.” I think that even E.B. White would have a problem with overusing the word “see” in Charlotte’s Web, or perhaps Stuart Little, which he also wrote. The plethora of underlines—that’s “a lot” for you automated suggesters-- was, fortunately, dispatched, once I found and unchecked the “check grammar as you type” option.

But still this incursion into my own personal writing style was troubling. Not so much for me, since I am thoroughly comfortable with how I write and I am also well aware that it’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea (Caution: A reader might not understand the expression—consider “choice”). But I worry about the general homogenizing of the written word that can easily result from a majority or even a plurality of writers taking all of these “suggestions” and thus all looking like each other.

And let’s not even get into the nascent but soon to be ubiquitous technology of “Artificial Intelligence” which threatens to replace every human writer at some level, at least according to pundits (Excuse me, but you should consider another more courteous term, such as “experts”) who believe that Large Databases Somehow Equal Thinking. More importantly, if the AI is programmed incorrectly, or “learns” something that isn’t as intended, then what happens?

“It’s better to not have a comma here.”

Says who?

Not you, says me. I’ve now unchecked every single check in my e-mail program; no, I don’t need monitoring for “Too Many Verbs,” “Passive Voice With Unknown Actor,” “Words Expressing Uncertainty,” “Unnecessary Comma,” or anything else you can think of.

Pop-up screen!

“We noticed that you have unchecked options. You may wish to have us proofread your e-mails. Click here to restore all settings to the default.”

No, I do not want you proofreading my e-mails, especially as I type. Do you understand how distracting that is?

Also take note of the use of the word “you” here... a finger of culpability pointed directly at the user. YOU are wrong. WE are correct. "Take note” would be better as “note.”) (“Culpability” is too complex a word.)

Well, whose to say it will stop there. Wouldn’t it be entirely possible to...

“Your employer might not approve of this topic.”

I don’t think so! Wouldn’t that violate all kinds of...

“Caution! Your current government administration might consider this opinion to be...”

Well, we’re not at that point.

Yet.

And therefore, we will continue to not just see, but observe.

...